Week 5
Results: Game1
Sporting Pfc 1 Man Chest Hair United 1
(Luke) (Adam)
Game2
AC Stratospherico 1 Substandard Liege 1
(Jonny) (Dave)
Match Report: Sporting Pfc 1 - Man Chest Hair United 1
Game 1, week 5, of the Portsmouth student 7 aside league saw the second meeting between Sporting Pfc and Man Chest Hair United. In the absence of their talisman and top scorer Marius, Pfc were sporting (no pun intended of course) 2 new players who appeared to gel into their team well.
The first half was a well fought but fairly contested affair (unheard of with games involving Sporting) with nice interchanges between debutant Luke and Target man Gan. The duo seemed to form an immediate understanding and the early exchanges yielded a few openings that were narrowly missed.
United, true and consistent to their previous set up stuck with key man Adam Parsons despite increasing talk and pressure on manager Kanav Gupta to play him in midfield. In attack the classy influence of United’s striker Paul was slightly subdued and it was their opponents who were to strike the first blow when one of the many interchanges between Pfc’s strike duo came off. Debutant Luke, calmly finished off a well struck shot with aplomb.
The second half well under way and with Pfc on the back foot, attack minded defender Parsons, broke free into attack and hit a well struck low shot into the corner. Off he went running back to his position, blonde lochs flapping behind him, sporting a moustache Rudi Voller would be proud of, back into the heart of defence. Pfc now cautious of the influential players runs contained him enough to see out a draw.
MOTM Luke - Superb debut and was involved in everything good for his team
Match Report: AC Stratospherico 1 - Substandard Liege 1
Game 2, week 5 saw Super Monday’s top of the table clash between the league leaders AC and pretenders Liege. With both teams eyeing top place, the early exchanges were forthcoming and lively.
AC welcomed top player Jonny Sage back, eager to make a mark on the game along with debutant Mark. Somewhat unsurprisingly, Liege started to gain the advantage as they played their quick passing game which at times left AC chasing shadows. In the absence of charismatic player/manager Ivan Baldacionni AC seemed to lack the organisation and rotation they had the previous week, not to mention stand out player Phill Satchell’s absence (and not just because of his carrot top).
The deadlock broke when midfielder Jonny Sage caught the centrally positioned, unleashing a seemingly innocuous shot at goal which the Liege stopper fumbled. The ball parried out of his hands and sheepishly rolled to his side and over the line.
From then on the script became further predictable with Liege immediately stepping up a few gears in pursuit of the equaliser. AC appeared to be equal to the onslaught with stand in keeper Parslow curiously filling out between the sticks. Nothing was curious about the manner of the player’s reactions [sic] as he kept his team’s lead in tact before a few lapses in concentration which almost saw Liege equalise.
Attack after attack came flooded the AC half which saw central half Lars Behrman screaming at his team in attempt to organise and rally his troops. AC appeared to leave their 3 strikers up field despite the increasing pressure. The AC manager’s absence was becoming more and more apparent.
Finally Liege got the breakthrough and unsung hero Dave scored the leveller for the title chasers. A late tumble in the area saw Liege infuriated by the decision to not award a penalty by the ref when centre Half Lars Behrman went tumbling into his area. The ref ruled the defender had been pushed and play continued to Liege’s bemusement. The game finished 1 a piece.
In the post match interview one AC player interviewed (who cannot be named although reports claim the player speaks fluent German) saw him storm:
“ These guys, my teams mates are incredible! Why wouldn’t they pick up their stupid lazy arses and come back and defend??…. The manager looks like a girl and plays like one and even he would have come back to defend if he wasn’t in Italy laying on another beach as I speak!”. So Lars you felt your team should have defended better?
“Yes of course!” He snapped, “ Isn’t that what I just said, do you English not speak your own language as well as German!!? You English will never win the world cup like this”… Erm, excuse me Mr Behrman, but I’m not English… “ Nigeria won’t win it in the next millennium, you are even worse!”. Sorry Mr Behrman but can we keep this to the game? “*^*!~#***!!!!…..**!!,**!!,**!!**!!**!!**!!………….”
Mr Behrmans agent refused to comment following the interview.
MOTM Jonny Sage - Everywhere in attack, not his finest goal but proved if you don’t shoot you don’t score.
| PORTSMOUTH STUDENT 7ASIDE LEAGUE | P | W | D | L | F | A | POINTS |
| AC STRATOSPHERICO | 5 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 3 | 8 |
| SUBSTANDARD LIEGE | 5 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 4 | 8 |
| SPORTING PFC | 5 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 6 |
| MAN CHEST HAIR UNITED | 5 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 3 |
| LEADING SCORERS | Goals | TEAM |
| Marius | 4 | Pfc |
| Matt Parslow | 3 | AC |
| Dan | 2 | Mch |
| Adam Parsons | 2 | Mch |
| Brett Harsgrove | 1 | Sub |
| Dave | 1 | Sub |
| George | 1 | Sub |
| John McCabe | 1 | Sub |
| Jonny Sage | 1 | AC |
| Luke | 1 | Pfc |
| Matt | 1 | Sub |
| Phil Satchell | 1 | AC |
Please get in touch if you have questions or issues.
Jon
jon@playfiveaside.com and 07809607884
