Aston league one week 4
Welcome to week 4,
Lawrence 1 are the only movers and shakers in the table this week, but to be honest their movement doesn’t really matter as the title seemingly looks to be a 2 horse race between the hotshots and Clitoris All sorts. Clitoris went through double trouble first overcoming Cokers Jokers and then despite a tough first half were able to complete 2 from 2 in the 2nd half against the Lesbians; as a result they go 3 points clear at the top of the table. Hotshots remain on their back with a magnificent victory against the Latecomers. The Latecomers did quite the reverse of Clitoris they came out of double trouble with nothing, not only losing to hotshots but also losing to Lawrence. Only 4 points separate 3rd to 6th
The match reports.
Lawrence were in complete control against the Latecomers. That’s not to say Latecomers didn’t attack, they did but most of the time Steve Guest was their busting their balls. The first half was more competitive than the 2nd as goals from Court, Cuthbert and Gaz didn’t seem to have much impact as Southgate and loan signing Lea brought the Latecomers back into the game before the interval. Southgate’s goal was a pure counter attacking goal. A ball from Jeremy found Alec, who held up play to allow for Southgate to run, a perfect ball played and Southgate finished. If only they played like that in the 2nd half where Cuthbert nestled his hat trick and even Toulson got a goal to ironic applause. O yeh and of course Newton made 3 saves, can’t write a Lawrence report without Newton can we. A bit too one sided in the end. Lawrence 7-3 Latecomers.
Latecomers had a 30 minute break before their next encounter against the hotshots. On this occasions they had James and Dick taking up the reins at the back and they didn’t do a bad job. Caddy and Peace also combined well but only troubled Tureck once in the hotshot goal in the opening 5 minutes. Hotshots broke the deadlock through Jigar who scored a great goal from distance, unfortunately 2 minutes later Dick equalised for Latecomers. Chris Park then stepped his game up and boom boom pow just banged the ball into the net after it came off the wall. Austin then increased the hotshot lead after McLaffen hit the post. Jeremy was also knocked out by a McLaffen thunderbolt in the first half, but being the hard man that he is carried on while most would have had to go to the nearest A and E. The 2nd half was quite back and forth again Jigar got a goal for the hotshots and much like the first half his goal was met with almost immediate response this time from James rising from the latecomer bench. McLaffen then hit back before Adam also appearing of the bench tried to keep the latecomers alive. It was like repeatedly running over a pigeon as the Latecomers just did not die but a final goal from McLaffen ended affairs. Hotshots 6-3 Latecomers.
Next week we will see a guest appearance from SuperNanny and the naughty step, sheesh kebab the amount of whinging in the Joker vs. Clitoris game. Cadman (Jokers) and Clyde (Clitoris) had to be spoken to as they just couldn’t keep their legs off one another, save it for the bedroom :p. Both players were then warned at other parts of the game as the game was thoroughly heated. Fortunately on this occasion the silliness did not mar two great performances one from James Cowley and the other from Chris in the Clitoris goal keeping all the balls away. Chris has been quoted saying he does operate a no ball policy. The more balls he sees the more agitated he gets. Sounds like a perfect Clitoris. Howells also put in his two cents for man of the match as he scored a hat trick with Matt also netting. For Jokers Henman made an impact in the 2nd half as their most lively player and Stennard hit the post. To be honest their attacking wasn’t the issue as every time they lost the ball they all lost interest in chasing it. No surprise then that the scoreline was a flattering Clitoris 5-1 Jokers.
Clitoris then went on to battle the lesbians and you know what the lesbians deserved to be ahead in the first half. Pritpal and Nathan had good chances but only tested Chris on one occasion. The Lesbians dominated possession but Clitoris were defensively sound Dan Soady in particular. They were limited to long shots and Clitoris would break on the counter but were always broken up by Ricky who was playing a great defensive role for the Lesbians. Alex Payne got the only goal in the first half against the run of play to take Clitoris into a narrow lead. The 2nd half was a bit more open with both teams sharing equal possession. Bhav came on to some impact but couldn’t find the perfect touch. T.J in the lesbian goal saved magnificently on 2 occasions and Chris over at the other end did the same. Marcus was the lesbians player of the game as he just didn’t give up on any challenge and looked to exploit the tired legs unfortunately he nor anyone else could break the Clitoris as Howells and Clyde made it look easy. In the end Clitoris 3-0 Lesbians.
Player Cam
Game of the week. Hotshots vs. Latecomers.
Goals of the day. Jigar Thanki (Hotshots). With a long range screamer vs. Latecomers. Clyde (Clitoris) with a similar goal to Jigar running down the right wing before unleashing the dragon against Lesbians. Cuthbert (Lawrence) with a great left foot swinging volley from close range.
Crunching Ricky (Lesbians). A great defensive first half performance. James C and Dan S (Clitoris). In both games both players would come back to make sure their keeper didn’t have a hard time. Steve Guest (Lawrence) Also a rock at the back today.
Saves of the day Alex Newton (Lawrence). Obviously. Chris (Clitoris) with some great saves throughout both games, only conceded one. T.J (Lesbians) also made two great saves.
Skill of the day. Chris Park (Hotshots). Some keepie uppies and some brilliant skill going past two before just missing the target.
Move of the day. Southgate and Peace (Latecomers). Great counter attack. Jeremy to Peace, who had the vision to find Southgate who finished a spectacular move.
Hat trick heroes. John McL (hotshots) Alex Cuthbert (Lawrence) Jack Howells (Clitoris)
Team of the week
Gk Chris (Clitoris)
DF Steve Guest (Lawrence)
MDF James Cowley (Clitoris)
AMF Chris Park (hotshots)
FW Alex Cuthbert (Lawrence)
Player of the week-. James Cowley (Clitoris). A great change from the mad man that we saw last season. Sensible, good challenges, great passing and a strong striker of the ball.
Please see the spreadsheet attached, let me know if anything is wrong.
Nilesh
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